Happy Birthday to my kuya!♥

Friday, December 31, 2004

..AND my kuya turned 18. Whoo! Legal age, huh? Yesterday, we ate at Sushi-Ya in Libis. It was fun. Sam, Kuya Igi and Ron were also there. We went to the Grocery after that. Haha!

I can't believe it's going to be 2005. Parang yesterday lang nag NEW YEAR dito sa compound. Well, it shows that time really runs fast. Aacck! I't turning 16?! Aww. Shoot. Haha! I hope I'll have a blast later because last Christmas? Sheesh. The heck.

Why do people have New Year resolutions if they can't even do or accomplish it? Or why do they have to wait for a new year to move? Come to think of it, they can start now. This very moment. So, am I being to somber? Haha! This is the outcome of boredom. Haha! But no really, I am serious. LIFE is really IRONIC.

LAST NIGHT. A very hearttreding thing happened to me. Remember when I said, he tricked me? Damn man! That wasn't for sure. I'm starting to hate that one person who said he was just playing me. Why does he have to tell my bestfriend if he wasn't sure? Now, my heart is really broken, more broken when I heard that he was just "playing" me. I made the wrong move. A VERY WRONG MOVE. I'll try to take the consequences. It was all my fault. I can't blame him. But Hmm, I can blame the one who said the so called he's-playing-with-you thing. I HATE YOU. Hope you read this and feel my pain.

NOW. I really don't know what to do. I'm planning to say sorry.

Ooh. Those CHUCKS. ♥

Thursday, December 30, 2004

I know you like them. Haha! 'Cause I do. hehe!

Dante's Inferno Test.♥

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I took this test, or quiz I saw on one of my e-mails. So, here's the result:Your fate has been decided....
You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to Purgatory!
Purgatory

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.


-- Am I not that BAD?! Haha!


The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test




I didn't post for 2 days. I wasn't in the mood to. Anyway, Nothing happened. The usual-boring-day. Last Monday, we had our Christmas Party here in our compound. Haha! It was fun. I bonded with the whole Marquez Family and I think I need that even if we live in the same compound. Hehe! During the exchanging of gifts, I felt that my Papa (Grandfather) picked me and the good thing was, he didn't buy any gift so he'll give me P500 na lang and up to now, it's not yet with me. Hehe! There. Haha! Yesterday was really a B-O-R-I-N-G day.

I woke up early today because of a text message. I thought, Pat will be going to our house, but she won't na pala. Si Dennis and Anjo na lang tuloy. Right now, I'm being scolded by a furious mother. Swear. Fuck.

Over him. ♥

Monday, December 27, 2004

I slept at about quarter to 4 already. Bon and Orville *my brother's friends*, Sam, Kuya igi and Ron slept here. It was fun last night, I didn't think of him that much. I can say that I'm a little over him now. I don't know, I just realized that, I can move on and my world won't end without him. They even tell me, 'Marami pa dyan na iba!'. They're right. He's not the reason of all things. Anyway, I'm feeling OK right now.

Yesterday, My family went to Shangrilla to do some 'late-christmas-shopping'. Haha! I was supposedly going to buy a pair of chucks but I didn't find any that soothes my taste. Hehe! But Gabo did find one. My dad told me to call my titas living in the US and ask them to buy me a pair. My mom told him that when she was there last year, she got this catalogue with different chucks, I mean designs. It's better if I'll just wait for February.. I'll be out of the ordinary. Yeah! Hehe! I'm such an airhead. :P Back to what I was saying, after Shangrilla, we went to Galleria. I thought of Ciello, I felt that she was there. While parking our car for more than 5 mins. My brother, Gabo saw Ciello. Haha! Goosebumps. So, she went with us. We roamed around the mall for just 20-30 mins. Crap! Kuya brought her GF a nice bag for 1500.. Darn. After that, we went home.

Supposedly, Gabs and I will go to Big R to find a gift for the person we picked in our kris kringle with the Family. Today is our party. Aww, I'm going to sing. I'm not prepared. OH yeah, HE texted me, I didn't reply. I may sound mean but how can I move on if I reply and that could equal to a conversation. I'm going. I'll buy a gift for my Tita and I'm still thinking of what I'll give her..

*later!*

Worth it.. Sheeesh..♥

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Just like what I've posted awhile ago, I'll type down what happened last night. It was supposedly a very enlighting and enjoying day yesterday. But for me it wasn't. I didn't even feel the Christmas Spirit. Going back, I tried to wait and stay up until the clock struck 12 but I didn't. I fell asleep at about 10 and was awaken by the continuous sound of message alert from my phone.

I can say that this Christmas was the worst ever. Though I received gifts from my relatives compared to the past two christmases, where I didn't receive any.

I texted him and even called him last night. He was already sleeping when I greeted him. Oh yeah, I cried. I don't even know the reason. Or maybe I do know. But, it's better if it's kept secret. I know I shouldn't think of him.. It'll bring me no good.

I've been hurt badly. I know I'm stupid to tell you this guys because on my previous posts I've been talking about him and how blissful I am. But now I know the truth. He tricked me. He just played me. How can I be this numb and dull to not notice he's just playing with my emotions. But on the other hand, I just want to congratulate him *sarcastic* for making me believe and fall so deeply. You're so good! Really. You'll meet your karma. You will. I ain't cursing. I just know that you will.. And Thanks for what you did, 'cause I felt loved even for the shortest time and totally learned my lesson. I should give up on you and I know it'll be hard to..

*My message to:
TIM
Tim, Thanks for telling me and waking me up and see the truth. I know you're pissed and fed up. You've been telling me this for lots of times but I'm not listening and pretending not to hear. But still, thanks for understanding. You really are my bestfriend.
JAMIE
Jamie, I just talked and texted you awhile ago, Thanks for cheering me up and for the back-up. Thanks for being there all this time.. I love you! We're starting to hate boys, right?
CIELLO
Ciello, you know you're one of the "first-people-to-call" whenever I need some encouragment and Thanks for giving me some. WE QUIT, right? Hehe! I love you!
SOPHIA
Hopefully, you'll read this. Thanks for everything! I mean, EVERYTHING. You've been there to help me all through out. Though you always let me think twice *Haha!* and finally I have the right decision.

>Thank you!



New pictures. Sam and I got nothing to do a while ago. So, here. I look pretty stupid. Hahaha!





I'll post what I've been thinking lately and what happened last night. *later*

feektyors, eh?♥

Friday, December 24, 2004

Sam and I got nothing to do. So here. It's malabo because of the camera or should I say WebCam. Hehe!







I'm choosing and deciding. He's not texting me and I guess he's mad. Darn it! Still no TEXT. I am so miserable. Why does it have to be Christmas?




Last night, I can't think of anything or anyone but him. Nothing's new with that 'cause I think of him most of the time. People often tell me I'm a negative thinker, Ok, I admit. I am. But I can't think positively on what's happening between the two of us. My emotions are really mixed up. I can be in high spirits, depressed and annoyed. In other words, I'm totally muddled up.

I always think that he'll leave me hanging and hoping. But he told me he won't. He even told me he love me and asked me the same question, I didn't answer. I've commited a lot of mistakes lately (towards him, us) and that's one of it, by not answering his QUESTIONS or answered it wrongly. I know I'm dim-witted. The person loving me is right before my eyes but I'm pretending and being numb. Numb. That's how he was, and now that I've moved on and put him out of my mind because from that very start I knew he won't love. But know, things are turning the other way around. He's loving me, and I'm starting to love him again. Honestly, I wished that he'll not love me. Why? Because I don't want to go back to that stage, of hurting. It was better of that way. But maybe, there's something more to discover and learn about this happening/s.
I love him and that's all he needs to know.

Thinking of this situation also made me write this. Sorry if it's absurd. Haha!

There you go again, trying to make me fall by your smile that simply takes my breath away and that stare that makes me want to melt. It's hard repeating these words 'cause I know I'll get hurt in the end, again. I've fallen so deeply for you but you were never there to catch me.
I've been dreaming alot lately and it's all about you, all about us. But I know I'm just up to dreaming. I just hope I'll sleep forever. I can be dead to the world. For when I sleep you're with me. I've never felt so much happiness and I felt it in my dreams. I'd rather stay in dreamland and live with you.
In this castle, you'll be my prince and I'll be your princess. Your princess of trance.
Don't you feel my love? It's right before your senses. I gave you my all and now nothing's left. My life's completely bare. I rode with the waves of life and end up in the wrong side.



Merry Christmas, Guys!

Snap back to reality. We better.♥

Thursday, December 23, 2004

It’s been awhile since I last wrote a very long post. As I was saying, I fixed a lot of layouts so didn’t have time to post and TA-DA! A new layout ü still looks plain, huh? Haha!

Two days before Christmas. I still can’t feel the spirit of it. Maybe because I ALWAYS get loads of sermon from my parents, particularly my mom. I don’t want to talk about that because I’m feeling OK now and it’ll ruin my day if I type down what happened.

These past few days, I think that God snapped me to reality. Things that happened were really something to mull over. People tend to forget about him and we become more materialistic, Well, ok, I can’t blame them, it’s part of realism. I admit, I am guilt-ridden.

Life is really short and these three happenings let me realized what its real meaning is.
1. The Typhoon that took innocent people’s lives and eradicate their shelters.
2. The Death of FPJ
and lastly
3. The death of De Venecia’s daughter.

Typhoon
I was really wondering that morning why my parents didn’t wake me and my brother up. So, I just went to their room and they told me that classes were suspended because of the downpour. Honestly, I was happy. I prayed that night and asked that classes be suspended because I didn’t want to report in our Filipino class, we weren’t ready that time. SELF-CENTERED, yes I am. But I didn’t know that it’ll cause people’s lives. In every move I made that time, there were people being buried alive and houses submerged in water and mud. I am really fortunate as I watched what happened on the television.

FPJ’s death
I get goose bumps everytime they show tributes for FPJ. I don’t know, it really shocked me when I heard the news about FPJ in the ICU, unconscious and much more surprised when they said, he died already. I’m not related to him or anything. But to tell you the truth I’m also in grief of his death. We were used to see him on T.V, whether his movie is shown or getting bashed in terms of politics. I also wonder why GMA won, I’m not on FPJ’s side or GMA’s but if that total of people who said to be more than the votes he got, visited and went to his burial, there was really stealing of votes, or whatever they call that. It’s right before our eyes, right? I also saw how Susan Roces, his wife, really is strong not only to her husband’s death but also on how she talked to the media and how she passed judgment on the administration. I heard someone said this on the T.V, I don’t know who he is but he speaks for I guess FPJ’s administration. I’m not sure of the words but it’s in Filipino. It was something like, their apologies were too late, it is better if he heard it with his own ears, why did they let he feel so bad. Something similar to that. Yeah, he got a really good point. Their request for forgiveness is really too late, he’s dead. Seeing Joseph Estrada staring at his bestfriend’s casket made me more down in the dumps. It is hard seeing your closest friend, the person who you grew up and work with their lying, not moving. Just imagine yourself in his place and you’ll feel the pain. There were also a lot of people crying over his death as if they were like his family. It only shows that FPJ made a really great impact on people’s lives. If you saw his casket, though it wasn’t shown close up, he was smiling. Maybe he is happy now, with GOD. May his soul rest in peace.

The daughter of De Venecia’s death

She was only 16. She is 1 year older than me. She could’ve lived longer and reach her goal if it weren’t for that fire that caught their house. I can imagine myself on her position that time. Being suffocated by thick smoke is really troublesome. Gasping for air and yet can’t get any. That’s my fear and she experienced that. She said to be smart and really sweet. About her parents, losing their youngest daughter is really one of the most tragic events in their lives. Her father said that she was his strength. I know she’s on cloud nine with Divinity. May her soul rest in peace.

I know you’re not used to seeing this on my blog. I just realized these things and its better if I’ll share it with you, guys. Snap back to reality.

Post.♥

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

I was busy for the past few days and didn't post because I did this layout. But I'm not happy with this yet. I still have to make it more, hmm. mesmerizing? Hahaha! Stop it. As I was saying, I did this layout and did Kat's too and she liked it! Haha! I'm going to make Chinx and Gabo their skins (?) Hehe! WISH me luck.

I talked to my friend last night and he's so nice, amazing. Ok, I'm talking senseless now. Huh? Does it make sense? Oh well, I don't want to talk about - right now, I'm not in the mood to.

I'll list down the things that I did these days..

Sunday going ons.
-Got alot of sermons
-sermons
-sermons
-and more sermons.
I'm sick and tired of it.
-He called me. Though he didn't get enough sleep and he's sick. SWEET. That made my day complete and smile. To think that he's sick and it was hard for him to talk.
-And oh, it was late already.



I was busy for the past few days and didn't post because I did this layout. But I'm not happy with this yet. I still have to make it more, hmm. mesmerizing? Hahaha! Stop it. As I was saying, I did this layout and did Kat's to and she liked it! Haha! I'm going to make Chinx and Gabo their skins (?) Hehe! WISH me luck.

I talked to my friend last night and he's so nice, amazing. Ok, I'm talking senseless now. Huh? Does it make sense? Oh well, I don't want to talk about - right now, I'm not in the mood to.

I'll list down the things that I did these days..

Sunday going ons.
-Got alot of sermons
-sermons
-sermons
-and more sermons.
I'm sick and tired of it.
-He called me. Though he didn't get enough sleep and he's sick. SWEET. That made my day complete and smile. To think that he's sick and it was hard for him to talk.
-And oh, it was late already.

NEW layout♥

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I didn't post anything because I fixed my layout.



I woke up and got to the computer immediately and fixed my blog. Haha! This is just what I did. IM NOT VAIN, OK? Haha!



IM not vain. See, just two pictures. Haha!

A long post. 17 18 and 19♥

Monday, December 20, 2004

I think that this will be a long post. I didn't blog for three consecutive days. I did a lot of things and I was so tired for the past few days.
Let me start.

December 17th, Friday.

Last day of classes before the Christmas break. I woke up a little late. Haha! I brought heavy things to school. My gifts for the teachers and friends as well. The food or the potluck everyone SHOUL'VE BROUGHT. It was fun. Our class had a simple party and it was full of exuberance. It was fun watching some of my classmates while playing Newspaper dance. Haha! Arianne and I played some tricks on them. Haha! We also had a mass on the afternoon. Supposedly it should be a "misa de galo"-correct spelling? But I don't know what happened. I don't like the changes in our school this year. I mean, some. We also had our Handog Pasasalamat with our sitio nanays that morning.
I TALKED to him. completeness.
*Jamie was absent.*

December 18th, Saturday
- My mom got mad at me. *what's new with that?*
- I worked for my Grandmother. DON'T ASK.
- It was tiring.
- Got a surprise call from him. That made me smile the whole working session. Haha!
- I got 500. HAHAHA! Yeah! I need cash.

TODAY. I fixed this blog and still looks plain. Atleast I know how to do some basic skins. I'm happy with that. I'm feeling bitter right now. Mixed emotions. I need some assurance. Aww, this is happening again. I hate it. Maybe, I just miss him.. badly. I didn't talk to him on the phone yesterday, except for that call. Oh, and today.

i hate my parents. I know I'm going to get my consequence and magsisisi ako once I read this again. I don't know, I just hate them now.. Especially mom, what's with her? I'm always being blamed. I hate her. Fuck. Why don't they get their own life.. IM FURIOUS. SHIT.

♥

Saturday, December 18, 2004

I'll post later.

SLAUGHTERED A FROG. Haha!♥

Friday, December 17, 2004

I didn't blog yesterday because I did so many things. One, I did the assignment in English. Second, I studied for Statistics and Lastly, I talked to him. Haha! It's like a part of my daily routine. My conscience is bothering me because I killed a frog. Haha! Ok, I'm over-reacting and it's part of Laboratory life anyway. I can still remember the sight of their organs and it's similar to humans. After the whole disecting activity, we had our recess, so, all of us were not in the mood for eating. Haha! Especially me, my food looks like the frog's intestines. Hahah! Kidding. Enough about that 'gross-frog-disection', PAUSO. Haha! We had our test in English and I didn't study but it was OK. THAT WAS WEDNESDAY.

Thursday going-ons:

1) TIM'S BIRTHDAY! Yahoo. Tim turned 15. Happy Birthday, Bestfriend.
2) Statistics Test. Oh no, I didn't study hard. The test was uncomplicated because I expected a troublesome examination.
3) English Test, again, I didn't study good enough but I answered it well. I guess..
4) P.E pratical test. Our group got 91 and we didn't even practice properly. It's cool. Haha!
5) A 10 min. Practice with Komu for tomorrow. I think Ate Bebe had a hard time on calling our attention or tired of their activity so she was not in the mood for fun. All of us were serious during the practice and it's an advantage.
6) We continued watching Amistad. A VERY morbid movie, I don't intend to watch again not literally NOT WATCH, but maybe the parts I can't take to look. Like throwing the Africans to the sea because they were like the "excess" slaves. Haha! You get me? NEVER MIND.
7) I got home at about 4:30.
8) Checked my phone and there were two messages, One from
Tim: "Hey abbie, thanks! tc!"
and,
Chino: I can't remember his message because it was kind of long but he said goodmorning even if it was late. Flashback: I told him yesterday that a morning greeting makes my day. So maybe, he texted me because of what I said. SWEET. Haha!
9) Went to the bathroom
10) I got online and here I am. Haha!

I want to talk to him.
He's the reason..
..why I'm smiling everyday.
..why I'm eager to go home.
..why I'm so inspired or moved.
..why I'm happy every single minute.
..why my problems are gone.

and yeah, I'm talking to him right now. Right this very moment.

♥

Thursday, December 16, 2004

I didn't blog yesterday because I did so many things. One, I did the assignment in English. Second, I studied for Statistics and Lastly, I talked to him. Haha! It's like a part of my daily routine. My conscience is bothering me because I killed a frog. Haha! Ok, I'm over-reacting and it's part of Laboratory life anyway. I can still remember the sight of their organs and it's similar to humans. After the whole disecting activity, we had our recess, so, all of us were not in the mood for eating. Haha! Especially me, my food looks like the frog's intestines. Hahah! Kidding. Enough about that 'gross-frog-disection', PAUSO. Haha! We had our test in English and I didn't study but it was OK. THAT WAS WEDNESDAY.

Thursday going-ons:

1) TIM'S BIRTHDAY! Yahoo. Tim turned 15. Happy Birthday, Bestfriend.
2) Statistics Test. Oh no, I didn't study hard. The test was uncomplicated because I expected a troublesome examination.
3) English Test, again, I didn't study good enough but I answered it well. I guess..
4) P.E pratical test. Our group got 91 and we didn't even practice properly. It's cool. Haha!
5) A 10 min. Practice with Komu for tomorrow. I think Ate Bebe had a hard time on calling our attention or tired of their activity so she was not in the mood for fun. All of us were serious during the practice and it's an advantage.
6) We continued watching Amistad. A VERY morbid movie, I don't intend to watch again not literally NOT WATCH, but maybe the parts I can't take to look. Like throwing the Africans to the sea because they were like the "excess" slaves. Haha! You get me? NEVER MIND.
7) I got home at about 4:30.
8) Checked my phone and there were two messages, One from
Tim: "Hey abbie, thanks! tc!"
and,
Chino: I can't remember his message because it was kind of long but he said goodmorning even if it was late. Flashback: I told him yesterday that a morning greeting makes my day. So maybe, he texted me because of what I said. SWEET. Haha!
9) Went to the bathroom
10) I got online and here I am. Haha!

I want to talk to him.
He's the reason..
..why I'm smiling everyday.
..why I'm eager to go home.
..why I'm so inspired or moved.
..why I'm happy every single minute.
..why my problems are gone.

and yeah, I'm talking to him right now. Right this very moment.

BLISS.♥

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

It's hard for me to just stare in an open space and don't think of him. I don't know, maybe he's just so good on making me do that. Why does he have to be so captivating? I mean, of all people, Why him? I'm thinking odd. I must and am happy but why type and ask this things? But atleast, I AM HAPPY and hmm, contented. I've been waiting for it..

This day was just so pleasant. The clouds were just perfect and the sun wasn't that hot. The weather was so chilly and it's better if it's for the whole year. One reason also is that I'm ecstatic. Hahaha! But I won't forget about my studies. I WON'T. I don't day dream during class. My mind just floats else where.. Haha! Kidding, however, you can't restraint your mind to just imagine things, right? We should control it.

HAVE TO STUDY FOR ENGLISH.

*think of happy thoughts so you can fly*



Gabo used the computer for the whole day yesterday so I wasn't able to post what happened on the other half of my day. But nothing really happened. It's just that I made a HUGE mistake, again. My scruples is bothering me now. I don't know how I'm going to tell him.

Today, I woke up at about 7:30. I'm researching for my English homework and I'll be studying for that Algeb test.. and that Stat. test, honestly, I can't understand a thing. I really have to study hard for that. No ones online. They're all sleeping pa siguro.
Last night, I had a very bizarre dream. Bizarre because it always shift from one scene to another. Haha! Basta, I dreamnt of him pa. Tsk, tsk.

I'll just research.

I commited a SIN. Liar, I am.♥

Monday, December 13, 2004

I didn't really want to lie. Now my conscience is bothering me. Well, that's my consequence. I didn't have fun as much as I do when I'm with Faye and Jeanne, I don't know maybe I'm really worried of what I've done. But it's ok, I did that for Jeanne.

Last Friday, I read my horoscope on Cacat's magazine, and it said that December 11 will be one of my happiest days, but, it turned out the other way. I relied so much on that horoscope so maybe it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be. Haha!

Yesterday morning or that was afternoon, something happened, Jamie and I fought. I didn't really want that to happen, I was out of my identity yesterday. Even Tim. I was 'cold'. But he understood it. I texted Jamie but she didn't reply, Maybe she's really mad. I hope things will be better. I'm surely going to miss Jamie. She's one of the few people who I'm comfortable with.

I commited a SIN. Liar, I am.♥

Sunday, December 12, 2004

I didn't really want to lie. Now my conscience is bothering me. Well, that's my consequence. I didn't have fun as much as I do when I'm with Faye and Jeanne, I don't know maybe I'm really worried of what I've done. But it's ok, I did that for Jeanne.

Last Friday, I read my horoscope on Cacat's magazine, and it said that December 11 will be one of my happiest days, but, it turned out the other way. I relied so much on that horoscope so maybe it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be. Haha!

Yesterday morning or that was afternoon, something happened, Jamie and I fought. I didn't really want that to happen, I was out of my identity yesterday. Even Tim. I was 'cold'. But he understood it. I texted Jamie but she didn't reply, Maybe she's really mad. I hope things will be better. I'm surely going to miss Jamie. She's one of the few people who I'm comfortable with.

Thursday and Friday♥

Friday, December 10, 2004

I didn't blog yesterday because I studied for that AP test, but, good thing, it's over. Algebra's going to be my big problem na and Biology. The week's so fast. It was just like Monday then now it's Friday. Hahah!

Thursday:

Jamie and I were the reporters for C.L.E and damn, we weren’t that prepared. Hahah! But, I think Ms. Clarete appreciated it. I got “barok” when were reporting. Just ONE mispronunciation, so, it’s ok. Hahaha! Everyone commits mistake. It was fun reporting in front of the class because everyone’s riding with our jokes and ‘hirits’. We had a quiz in Bio and my grades acceptable. Hahaha! And oh yeah, Chino and I talked on the phone. I won’t mention na lang what happened. Nothing really came about, it was just amusing.

Friday:

Today is pretty fine, I mean, it wasn’t that fun and boring. I just took the A.P test and it was puzzling. Jamie is like so cold, or maybe it was just her mood swings. I don’t know, I can’t approach her. Jeanne and I talked during the English period and she advised and I told her my stories because we weren’t able to talk that long for these past few months.

I also realized one thing, I’m not jealous. Maybe I’m just afraid of losing that person. He’s the only person I can run to. So, I’m really really anxious of losing him.

I’m chatting with Cris right now and he’s telling me about his grades.

Divisoriaaaaaa. Divisoriaaaaaaaa.♥

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

We went to Divisoria a while ago and hell, the place was too crowded. I didn't enjoy shopping as I did before. It was also an "adventure" for Sam and I. I bought a lot of things but it's not for myself. It's for my classmates. Haha! Christmas shopping. I realized some things a while ago and one of them is that Filipinos are so ill-mannered and rude. They just push you and some don't even know how to say 'excuse me'. I nearly got knocked out a while ago because:

1) I didn't eat my breakfast. (It was all my fault.)
2) The smell. (Haha! I'm so mean.)
and lastly..
3) This man with a really large box carried on his shoulders hit my head. (It did hurt! but good thing he said sorry, so I forgave him.)

It wasn't that hot awhile ago. It was kind of chilly, BUT STILL, I can't feel the christmas spirit. Hmm, maybe a little.

I didn't study for Bio and I'm still going to report on CLE. Darn. I have to cram, again.
Tomorrow.








I got home at about 8, 'cause Faye, Jeanne, Yuby and I went to Big R wearing our uniform. Hahah! Yeah, break that rule. Haha! My day is super fun.. really. Got to hang out with some of my classmates.. Though it was a long day. BUT, still, I can't get that off my mind. Im not in the mood to type.. So, tomorrow.

How to forget. Hahaha!♥

Monday, December 06, 2004

Just take my mind off that situation. Haha! It's my first survey.

Who did you last go out with?
> My cousins ü
Who was the last person to text message you?
> Tim

What is the first name on your missed, received
and dialed calls?
> missed: Vien
> received: Carlo
> dialed: 1515 -haha!ü

What do u want to receive on your birthday?
> hmm, anything.ü

what do u want to receive on valentines day?
> im not expecting for someone to give me a valentine's gift.

Reach your hand out to the right. What do you
touch?
> CPU. Haha! I'm naive. Haha!ü

What do you plan to do for the next holiday?
>NEXT holiday will be on the 8th, no classes. hmm. Go to Jamie's house, I guess.

What time did you sleep last night?
> 9:30-10

What's the wallpaper on your phone?
> None.

What are you going to do 5 hours later?
>It's either sleeping or texting.

Is there anyone you're thinking of now?
> .. Haha! no one.

What was the last thing you touched before the
computer?
>My cellphone.

When was the last time you browsed through the
Bible?
> Can't remember. BUT I browsed through the bible this month.

What can you hear besides the computer?
> The T.V

Why did you answer this?
> I want to put it on my blog.

Name 5 people you saw yesterday besides the
people who live in your home?
> NO ONE. I see the same people everyday.

When was the last time you opened your school
textbooks?
> A while ago.. Haha!ü

Do you agree to the saying "Forgive is to
forget"?
> NO, because there's still this feeling of 'hatred' or whatever it is to that person who hurt you but atlease you forgave them. LABO. Haha! :P

When, where was the last time tears started to roll
> Can't remember, basta, I cried na ata this month. Haha!

What makes you happy?
> a text message or a smile.ü

What makes you sad?
> This feeling. haha!

What are your favorite books?
> The alchemist.

What would you like to have right at this very
second that seems totally impossible?
> A new cellphone.

Who will you turn to if you have a huge problem
> Tim
What's your favorite song/s at the moment?
>Cupid. Think of Aaliyah. Can you help me. Separated.

What was the last song that kept ringing on your
> Separated.

What was the best event that happened last year?
> Just being with Jamie, Drea, Jenessa and Tim is the happiest moment.

Lastly, what do you like about yourself?
> NONE.




I woke up late because I slept at about 9:30-10 because I was texting Jamie and Tim and Gabo and I are so hyper last night. Yesterday was a miracle 'cause Gabs and I didn't fight. Haha! This morning in school, I was quiet during the Assembly. I wasn't in the mood to talk and besides, I didn't sit with Jenessa, Drei and Jamie. It was really cold in school even in the afternoon. I should've brought my jacket. End the school thing.

My emotions are really mixed up. I don't know. I feel Happy, Sad, Angry, Pissed, Enamored. Ok, in short, I'm befuddled. I can't write what's happening really right now for certain reasons. It'll cause me anxiety. Haha! Jamie told me that it can be, but, I'm really holding back. I know it'll be hard to cope up with changes. It's better of that way. I know the upshot of it. I can't think straight and I don't know its ground. I've been in this state of obsucurity these past few days. So, It's a little difficult to understand what I'm saying. Maybe what's wrong with me is that I can't squeeze out my mind what I really want to say because it's really hard for me to.

I just want to thank:
1)Tim
-for cheering me up last night, YEAH Dude, you cheered me up. Thanks for understanding my outlandish problems. These words made up my day: Sympre, ikaw pa. Bestfriend. And for giving me guidance and lifting up my general feeling yesterday.
2)Jamie
-Again, for understanding me yesterday. Thank you for making me laugh, smile and thanks for the advices. Sorry if I'm being like this lately, you know the reason. Though I'm trying not to think about it and hold back. Sorry.
3)Marvin
-Thanks for that simple act of thoughtfulness or should I say sweetness. These also made me smile:
<[B2iN`]> say "hi" to abbie for me.
Sorry, I was in Gabo's room that time. Thanks Marvs.
and lastly
4)Gabo
-oohh, it's a little awkward writing his name here 'cause we fight most of the time and maybe he doesn't even know that he made me FEEL LOVED. Haha! Anyway, Thanks Gabs for cheering me up last night and for still, keeping up with my mood. It was fun bonding with you Gabs. It's will always be etched in my mind. Thanks.

IM REALLY THANKFUL THAT I HAVE YOU, guys! I'm so FLUKY. Haha! What a word. LOVE YOU!

Sunday Morning♥

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Haha! As usual, I woke up early because of, YEAH. right. My parent's noise, 'cause they'll be going to Laguna. It's ok. Anyway, I fixed my BLOG.

Im going to study.

Words flowing out of my brain ? huh? Haha!♥

Saturday, December 04, 2004

I didn't post anything yesterday because I'm fixing this blog. I'm STILL HAVING trouble with it.

Yesterday. Nothing happened. Haha! Chino just texted me early and we talked over the phone.. Nothing really happened. About today, I woke up early as usual. Again, because of My parent's noise. Haha! Can't blame them. This day is full of Sermons. Yeah, I'm so sick of it. I'm always being blamed and scolded.. What's wrong with them? Why can't they scold my brothers or my sister |the main source of mess in this house.| See, Im being reprimanded because of Adette's TOTAL MESS? Get a life. I'm so infuriated, really annoyed.
This won't be going anywhere so I'd better stop.
Lately, I'm into writing poems, I don't know, I'm not moved or anything and yet what I'm writing is all about love. Hmm, OR MAYBE I am? Haha! I just thought of posting some of what I wrote. I composed 3 for this day. Haha! I am weird. NOT STRANGE.

Here's one:

I know I should be more careful of my feelings
I'm scared of getting hurt
I've closed my eyes to reality
and imagined us together.

I know you feel my love and care
and you know I'm just there
But you still just can't see
how much you mean to me.

I dreamnt of us
in each other's arms
But that dream was shattered
When I saw her in your arms.

I know I shouldn't be dreaming
for dreaming makes me expect.
I am stupid when it comes to love
But I understood what it really means.

Time will pass
and soon I'll forget about you.
I'd rather face reality
than dream of things that will never come true.

HEARTBROKEN. Am I? Haha!

♥

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Why did they suspend classes when it's not raining afterall?



Yeah, no classes. :D I'm so happy.. Thanks to Alexis and Arianne for texting me. I was like feeling odd last night, i don't know and I felt that we won't be having classes today. *reason: I don't want to present in Filipino* Hahah! As of now, I'm chatting and there's nobody online except for Pixie and Anjo. Im going to fix my blog, it's crap.

wednesday: cupid♥

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I woke up late. Haha!:D Did the usual stuffs before going to school. On my way to school, Sam and I, all we did is laugh. In school, we had our general assembly and yeah, morning, bloopers agad kami ni Jamie :D Hahaha! Anyway, it was a pretty boring day for me, no fun happenings, but being with Drei, Jenessa and Jamie completes my day. :D I can say that they're just the greatest friends anyone could have :D I'm so lucky. Enough about school.

I got home early, and the first thing I did is fight with my brother. Yes guys, I am mean. Hahaha! Kidding. He was just so annoying and irritating. He's a pain in the ***. Joke. :P I went with the driver to Gabo's school to pick him up but he wasn't there so we just went home. I talked to Jamie on the phone and told her something about, never mind. Tim called me and Yes, this was his line: "Kwento ka naman..". But it's ok, He got lots of stories to share, so, it's just fair. :D Hahaha! NAHULI SIYA NG DAD NIYA SA PHONE! Haha! He needs to study. study. study. and.. study. Hahah! :D whatever, all I'm doing is laugh.

Right now, I'm chatting with Jamie, Jenessa and Gabe. It is fun. We're so scripted *right?* :D
Someone texted. Marvin: He's thanking me for the letter I gave him. Marvin is my brother's classmate. He got this love problem and he told me about it, I can't explain it to him that time 'cause I was thinking of something else, so I wrote him a letter explaining him and helping him out of his LOVE DILEMMA. I hope he understood it. Another text message: Tim. Haha! he'll be online by 8, I'm wont be online by that time. But I told him I'll try :D Chino's online, he's in invisible mode. Enough. I better be doing my assignments.

*I WROTE THIS POEM, BUT IT GOT LOST! IT'S NICE. Sayang. :(* I'll try to find it anyway.*

THE SUSPECT

Abbie. Abbiebells. Bella. Isabelle. Seventeen. Broke. Still functioning. An aspiring photographer. Guitarist of her band, Taken. Wants to study abroad. Will become a dentist. A Komu member since first year. God-fearing. Not a snob. A music enthusiast. An Incubus, TBS and Mae fan. Does sing. Does dance. Currently learning to play the violin.

DEAR LOVIES

Dear reader,

STATUS:

♥

ETC.

Since May of 2005 creatures of different kinds visited this blog.