Last night, I can't think of anything or anyone but him. Nothing's new with that 'cause I think of him most of the time. People often tell me I'm a negative thinker, Ok, I admit. I am. But I can't think positively on what's happening between the two of us. My emotions are really mixed up. I can be in high spirits, depressed and annoyed. In other words, I'm totally muddled up.
I always think that he'll leave me hanging and hoping. But he told me he won't. He even told me he love me and asked me the same question, I didn't answer. I've commited a lot of mistakes lately (towards him, us) and that's one of it, by not answering his QUESTIONS or answered it wrongly. I know I'm dim-witted. The person loving me is right before my eyes but I'm pretending and being numb. Numb. That's how he was, and now that I've moved on and put him out of my mind because from that very start I knew he won't love. But know, things are turning the other way around. He's loving me, and I'm starting to love him again. Honestly, I wished that he'll not love me. Why? Because I don't want to go back to that stage, of hurting. It was better of that way. But maybe, there's something more to discover and learn about this happening/s.
I love him and that's all he needs to know.
Thinking of this situation also made me write this. Sorry if it's absurd. Haha!
There you go again, trying to make me fall by your smile that simply takes my breath away and that stare that makes me want to melt. It's hard repeating these words 'cause I know I'll get hurt in the end, again. I've fallen so deeply for you but you were never there to catch me.
I've been dreaming alot lately and it's all about you, all about us. But I know I'm just up to dreaming. I just hope I'll sleep forever. I can be dead to the world. For when I sleep you're with me. I've never felt so much happiness and I felt it in my dreams. I'd rather stay in dreamland and live with you.
In this castle, you'll be my prince and I'll be your princess. Your princess of trance.
Don't you feel my love? It's right before your senses. I gave you my all and now nothing's left. My life's completely bare. I rode with the waves of life and end up in the wrong side.
♥ Vindicated @ 24.12.04
THE SUSPECT
Abbie. Abbiebells. Bella. Isabelle. Seventeen. Broke. Still functioning. An aspiring photographer. Guitarist of her band, Taken. Wants to study abroad. Will become a dentist. A Komu member since first year. God-fearing. Not a snob. A music enthusiast. An Incubus, TBS and Mae fan. Does sing. Does dance. Currently learning to play the violin.
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Dear reader,
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Since May of 2005
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Abbie. Abbiebells. Bella. Isabelle. Seventeen. Broke. Still functioning. An aspiring photographer. Guitarist of her band, Taken. Wants to study abroad. Will become a dentist. A Komu member since first year. God-fearing. Not a snob. A music enthusiast. An Incubus, TBS and Mae fan. Does sing.