The music started. Everyone was silent. Trying to concentrate on doing what they told us. With the chanting of the song that made me more concentrated, I never expected what will happen next.
Ms. Ajero: “ Isabelle?”
Me: Ms.? Why?
Ms. Ajero being hesitant. She wanted to tell me something.
Ms. Ajero: You’re aunt is here.
Me: Ms. Why? (I was shocked and at the same time nervous)
Ms. Ajero: You’re grandfather died.
(I didn’t say anything. I was in a total shock.)
Ms. Ajero: Get your things. You can now go home.
I received an instant hug from Agot who was beside me that time and a sympathetic “Abbie..” from Niña. I didn’t cry that time. I didn’t know what to do. On my way to the highschool building, my tears weren't falling. The silence made me more devastated about the whole situation. At one point, I said it was all a dream. Sam and Ate Kats already took my things. They were crying. I was still shocked.
Going home while inside the car was like hours. Everything was slow. I was in a hurry to go home to see my mom who I know is the one who should be watched out. My mom isn't very good on handling emotions. My tears suddenly started falling. Remembering my papa's smile and how he will make an effort to tell me something. As you can see, papa already underwent stroke and even bypass. It was his 2nd life, too. He was in the ICU for so long last 2001, I guess. Going back, I arrived home and saw everybody grieving. The chapel was being fixed and even the househelpers were crying. It did hurt me. It was really sudden. I lost my papa in an instant. Questions ran through my head. Why does it have to be today? Why is it very sudden? What did we do? No questions were left unanswered. The answer was simply: I think Papa would like that better.
I'll surely miss my daily routine on going to his favorite chair every morning and kiss him. I'll miss the times when I'll just sing and extend my hand and to my surprise, a one hundred peso bill. I'll miss his famous line: " Putangina mo!", " Oh Diyos ko, kaawaan mo po ako. " " Eh?". Believe it or not, his famous " Putangina mo!" is one of the few words he can say. Hehehe. He's struggling na nga to mention my name e. ;) Weird Papa. :P I know he's watching over me now. I'll surely miss his hand on my shoulders while walking with his "baston" and his "sumbrero". No one now will ever tell me again how beautiful I am. There's a lot of things I'll miss about papa. But one thing's for sure. I'll miss everything about him.
16 years with papa is an accomplishment. 16 years of being close to him made me feel depressed even more. He's part of my daily routine and he'll always be a part of me. I'm happy to know that he's watching over me everyday. It'll be hard for me to let go of him. I've grown attached to Pa. But again, I know he's happy up there.
And as tears fall from my eyes while typing this down, I feel contented for I know he'll be my angel.
I'm going to miss you forever, Pa :(
I'll see you soon.
Abbie. Abbiebells. Bella. Isabelle. Seventeen. Broke. Still functioning. An aspiring photographer. Guitarist of her band, Taken. Wants to study abroad. Will become a dentist. A Komu member since first year. God-fearing. Not a snob. A music enthusiast. An Incubus, TBS and Mae fan. Does sing.